ailbhe: (Default)
[personal profile] ailbhe
When the pain gets really, really bad, I stop thinking of ways to manage it and start to feel like a pathetic fraud who is wasting everyone's time. This is so reliable that I can say "Rob, I feel like a useless fraud. Am I having a contraction?" and he can reach down and feel them, yup.

The real contractions feel pretty much exactly like the PTSD flashback ones I used to get when I wasn't pregnant. It's kind of strange.

But oh, I'm almost kind of enjoying this, in its own way.

I'll be back in the pool and offline again soon. But that's how I am now.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-06-26 08:30 pm (UTC)
minoanmiss: (Minoan Woman by Ileliberte)
From: [personal profile] minoanmiss
ISTR that PTSD sets off some of the same neural pathways real life sets off. For example, when I used to have flashbacks I would feel industrial carpet pressed against my knees with my body's weight, no matter where I was during the flashback (standing, sitting, lying down).

*keeps on sending you strength*

(no subject)

Date: 2010-06-26 05:59 pm (UTC)
rosefox: Green books on library shelves. (Default)
From: [personal profile] rosefox
I very much hope the small one decides to get a move on soon so you can stop feeling this way.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-06-26 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ljgeoff.livejournal.com
Having birthed kids of my own, I am trying to get inside your head here. But I don't understand! Birthing kids is so tough; why would your work and pain make you feel useless? Because you must depend on others in a time of weakness?

(no subject)

Date: 2010-06-27 07:06 am (UTC)
rmc28: Rachel in hockey gear on the frozen fen at Upware, near Cambridge (Default)
From: [personal profile] rmc28
It might not be a rational response, just a response. For a few days now I've been having feelings of being useless and an imposter and I must be annoying everybody, and it's basically due to an overload of mental stress (work, home, money, that kind of thing) - though it took me a while to see that. So maybe being overloaded comes out as feeling useless in some people.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-06-27 03:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gloriap.livejournal.com
I agree with rmc. You are more stressed than you realize. I am crossing all my digits that this child makes a quick and uneventful appearance, and SOON. I think you are ready to go on to the next phase of motherhood with this one.

Best wishes for a speedy delivery (which makes the whole process sound like ordering take-out kabobs, doesn't it?)

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