storbarnsförälder

I met the ob who will be doing the exam today. She was pleasant enough, but had a few problems with my birth plan - wanted me to change my stated desires on the birth plan (the ones already qualified with "if possible"), which I refused to do. She also suggested "not focussing on it" as a way of dealing with the possibility of a panic attack while waiting for surgery - a possibility which I explained gets greater the longer I have to wait. She really has no idea that what I'm talking about is an actual panic attack, with a distinct possibility of turning into a full-blown flashback, and not a little regular anxiety. I suppose she just doesn't have enough experience of post-trauma people, since the other ob is the woman who specialises in it.

However, Rob reminded me that in previous surgeries, it has been the anaesthetist who sorted out my panic, not the surgeon, so we can discuss it with him - and my midwife will see to it that if I need it I will at least get enough gas and air to keep me drunk while we're waiting.

I'm going to argue very hard for a private room at the clerking appointment, because if I do have a panic attack it won't do anyone else on the ward any good. Also, the recovery room is communal, which does not appeal to me at all; the last birth had an audience of thousands for every stage, and I don't like that idea. However, actually doing my post-operative observations (blood pressure etc) will be - again - my fabulous midwife, so that will be lovely.

It's going to be so lovely that she's there to meet my new baby straight away. This whole thing would have been so, so much harder without her. She came today even though she'd hurt her back and was avoiding most of her moving around type work.

I really want to think of a nice gift for her. I keep forgetting to check if she has pierced ears, so I could get her some Pinard earrings. I'd also like to get her something like wine vouchers or a mixed case of interesting wines, or some other luxury goods type thing. I don't really know what she's into, other than skiing, wine, babies, midwifery, and going to live in Scotland. Unfortunately, most of what she has told me about herself has vanished into the generic memory fog. I could try buying her a nice piece of original artwork if I could get to a gallery with cheap art, I suppose. But I have no clear idea of what she'd like.